In my 21 years of life on this planet I have been given many opportunities to learn many things. Things like, look both ways before you cross the street, because there is almost always a car waiting for the moment you aren't looking to hit you at top speeds, or when baking cookies it is always helpful if you remember to add flour to the dough. And in addition to these sometimes mundane educational opportunities there have been instances whee I have been given a chance to learn something life changing.
I titled this entry "Love..." because that is one constant that has been present in my life. I have been given the gift of many people around me who love me... These people accept me for who I am, who I am not, and what I will or will not be later in life. I have also learned that these people have also been given a great gift, because I love them back. So regardless of what I may think, on some level I will always "have their back" as I hope they do mine. But what happens when there is nothing I can do? What if putting on my wonder woman cape just doesn't cut it? What then?
Being a believer in love myself, I find it very difficult to just give up on someone. To just trow up my hands and say, " Well, I tried." This has never been acceptable in my life ever before, and as much as I hate to admit it now... I am coming to a point where I don't know what else to do...
I titled this entry "Love..." because that is one constant that has been present in my life. I have been given the gift of many people around me who love me... These people accept me for who I am, who I am not, and what I will or will not be later in life. I have also learned that these people have also been given a great gift, because I love them back. So regardless of what I may think, on some level I will always "have their back" as I hope they do mine. But what happens when there is nothing I can do? What if putting on my wonder woman cape just doesn't cut it? What then?
Being a believer in love myself, I find it very difficult to just give up on someone. To just trow up my hands and say, " Well, I tried." This has never been acceptable in my life ever before, and as much as I hate to admit it now... I am coming to a point where I don't know what else to do...
I've prayed, and continue to pray. I have researched, but no one seems to know the answer. I've wished on many stars, and still my wish has yet to come true.
So now I am face with changing my perspective on love. I have always known that in the back of my mind that life is not fair, but is it possible that love is not fair either? That can't be true!
What else must I re-evaluate? Friendship? Family? God?
If that's the case, I don't even want to deal with it. Maybe I'm trying to find an answer to a question that is not even supposed to be asked yet....?
Okay, I'm dying to ask 'who' 'why' 'when' 'what can I do to help' because the mom in me wants to jump in and solve my kid's problems and friends of my kid's problems and my friend's kid's problems. But I know that you're 21 and probably don't want any help from an oldster...
ReplyDeleteWhat you're going through sounds pretty crappy. But you're a smart adult and I know you will be able to work this out. Every problem has a solution. You just have to find it. And sometimes our timing isn't the same as God's timing when we're praying for some help.
My only bit of advice. Don't give up on someone if you love them. If you have to take a break from a certain person do it, but never give up. It hurts too much when a door is closed forever. I know....
Tess
Thanks Tess, and in retrospect I guess that this sounds like I'm giving up on someone because I don't like the life choices they are making, but in reality, someone I love is just going through somethings that I have no way of helping them with. And life just isn't very fair right now. I'm not giving up on them!
ReplyDeletecool. I'm glad you're not giving up on them....and in retrospect on my comment...I probably shouldn't be throwing advice out there when I really don't know the details. :-)
ReplyDeleteHey, know that I'm thinking of you. You're in my prayers.
Tess